Sindarin & Strangeness

angstriddentrashhuman:

last-snowfall:

needstosortoutpriorities:

rambleonamazon:

last-snowfall:

geardrops:

swanjolras:

out of all the aspects of millennial-bashing, i think the one that most confuses me is the “millennials all got trophies as a kid, so now they’re all self-centered narcissists” theory

like— kids are pretty smart, y’all. they can see that every kid on the team gets a trophy and is told they did a good job; they can also see that not every kid on the team deserves a trophy, and not everyone did do a good job

the logical conclusion to draw from this is not “i’m great and i deserve praise”— it’s “no matter how mediocre i am, people will still praise me to make me feel better, so i can’t trust any compliments or accolades i receive”

this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.

where did this whole “ugh millennials think their so-so work is super great” thing even come from it is a goddamn mystery

what fucking kills me is, yeah, maybe we got the trophies, but who gave them out

this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.

Which is pretty much what mental health practitioners observe happening.

It’s also what I observed happening as a singing teacher: the older kids literally would not believe a positive word I said until I had proved I would tell them they screwed up/had done badly/etc. I did so in as useful a way as possible (“So this passage. We really need to work on this passage. A lot. This passage is not good yet.”), but with almost every adolescent I taught I had to prove I would give them straight-up criticism before they would parse my praise as anything other than meaningless “the grownups always do this” noise.

This is literally a huge chunk of what is wrong with me. By the time I reached high school, I assumed all praise was fake–made up to spare my feeling. Even today, I struggle with accepting compliments or feeling proud of my work.

You know what else a population treated like this learns?

That their skills, accomplishments, and personal value as unique individuals are such mortal threats to their peers’ sanity that they must hide and devalue them or else everyone around them will be TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE. That success must constantly be overshadowed by hypervigilent guilt over who might see it achieved by someone other than them and wither because of it. That the reason “everyone wins” is because losing is death and success is murder. That their work must be devalued in service to an all-devouring imperative to protect others from the toxic experience of envying it.

That achievement automatically means cruelly taking something away from someone else instead of creating something beautiful that those around you can ENJOY.

That if you accepted or desired approval, you were thoughtless. That if you took pride in anything, you were a snake. That if you asked for your value to be recognized, you obviously didn’t care about those around you. That adding value to any situation you were in was only acceptable with written permission, which you had to carefully assert that you hadn’t asked for in any way, or else you ran the risk of battering the self-esteem of people who were just waiting for the chance to cry foul and batter you back.

That success is a zero-sum game.

NOPE.

(Among other things, this shows up in the tendency of creatives to devalue their work even if it’s really good, repeating stridently that they’re not making anything that can actually be called good lest someone respond with the dreaded “how are you so good, I quit.” Please, everyone, stop both of those things. Just really please stop.)

Oh, fucking god, this.

Leading to the lovely correspondence, if something goes wrong, of:

- I am the worst
- It’s my own fault if I’d worked harder it would have worked perfectly
- It’s my own fault for wanting to achieve something and put myself above others
- The fact that I am sad about not achieving something means I am a selfish egotist and a horrible person
- BUT I SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER AND ACHIEVED

I am haunted by the idea that no praise is genuine, that I don’t deserve praise because I am not actually any good even at my favorite things, and that if I do accept praise or feel good about something I’ve done then I am an arrogant piece of garbage and I need to stop doing that.

I too struggle with this, as even today my German professor was telling us marks and I learned I went from an 88 to an 87 and nearly cried. Recently, I did a music history exam for the RCM and I only got an 87. I was devastated, even though my teacher said I should be proud. No pride exists or can exist in this generation until not everyone is awarded.

jonbutter:

laddermatch:

acoolguy:

anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

ccant relate

why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins

Little dolphkns swimming through the blood stream😂😂😂

So… I’m terrified. I just came out as bi to everyone I know today. It was a long process, but I figured it out. Today, I feel, was a good day to do so because of the inauguration. Soon, I won’t have rights in the US, so good thing I came out while it was still legal. The lgbt page is already down, and that is insane. A few hours and he’s already pushing back the clock. This is the craziest thing in my entire life.

Do you find it weird that all blind people in SciFi/Fantasy worlds all have cataracts? I mean, some blind people don’t. The could have glaucoma or some sort of optical nerve dysfunction. Why is it always cataracts?

asherlockstudy:

theconsultingweirdo:

yorkiepug:

shinysherlock:

ishipanarmada:

dmellieon:

artfulkindoforder:

texasfairy:

Alright kids. Reblog and leave your house and patronus in the tags because I’m curious.

I’m a Slytherin Magpie

Shit. I’m Moriarty, aren’t I?

Ravenclaw and Wild Boar

Slytherin and Grey Squirrel

Hufflepuff and Hedgehog.

Ravenclaw and Nightjar

Ravenclaw (Thunderbird) and Adder

@artfulkindoforder I am a Slytherin Magpie as well!!!

(and of course extremely proud of it. )

Ravenclaw Vole :) CAW CAW RAVENCLAW